I have friends and family that live all over the country – Florida, California, Alaska, Arizona, New York, DC – places I have Always. Wanted. To. Visit. I plan to visit as many of these places as I can before the year is over.
One fabulous opportunity is coming up this summer. A cousin of my mother’s step-sister’s ex-husband will spend a month in the Tuscan countryside of Italy. I sent an email last week, noting my intention to travel through the area, and I suggested a get-together. You know, quality time to build our family bond. I hope to hear back soon.
I’ve encountered a few nightmares in the past. It’s like my hosts pulled tips from bad websites!
I invited myself to visit a friend in California last year. The Ms. of the couple greeted me nicely enough, but when she showed me to my room, she pointed to a sheet of paper on the bedside table. She said – listen to this! She said, “Here’s a list of things you might want to see while you’re here. We’re going to be busy, but I’m sure you can get rides with Uber or Lyft – I put numbers right here – and you can come and go as you like.”
The nerve! I left after two nights, because I didn’t even get dinner at a restaurant from them! They let me “graze” from their refrigerator if I didn’t have other meal plans.
I invited myself to visit another friend in New Mexico. I was at the end of a loosely-fashioned week of stay, maybe it was ten days, and my hosts suggested we go out to dinner. At the end of the evening, as we had driven separately, they were up and out of the restaurant before I realized they were gone! They had not even paid for their own meal! Several times throughout the meal they mentioned the three times they had taken me out, and the extra groceries they had purchased and used during my stay. In hindsight, I realized they expected me, a guest, to shoulder some of the responsibility! I got them back by packing as soon as I got to the house. I left my bags at the door so they would trip over them as they left for work, and I was gone before they returned.
I love to make myself at home. I take what looks to be the most comfortable chair in the living room – I am the guest, after all – and put all of my evening things on the side table. You know. Things like nail polish remover, files and polish, my book, a crossword puzzle magazine, a bag of snacks. Sometimes my host will be rude enough to pick up my water glass and put a coaster underneath. As if I would slosh!
Another pet peeve of mine is just that. Pets. A good host will close their cats or dogs into the main bedroom for the duration of my stay. I’m the guest. They are pests.
Sometimes the “guest” room is actually a room of one of the children, and the little urchin is in and out, in and out, getting clothes, toys and books. Once, a teenager, responding to my look – I was trying to be polite and not say anything – said, “We expected you to be here one night. It’s been five, and I need my stuff.” I nearly made a pile of books and clothes in the hallway, but I took the higher road.
Tips
Because of past nightmares, I’m going to get smarter in the future. I share my tips with you.
- If you arrive with suitcase in hand and your friends greet you with, “Why don’t you join us for dinner after you get settled at your hotel?” beat feet for greener pastures.
- If people don’t take time off work to entertain you, cross them off your list.
- Be a good guest. Take your sheets and towels to the laundry room every morning to save your hosts some steps.
- Take a box of chocolates along as a gift. Save some for them.
In Closing
I was going to give you a closing tip, but I’ve just had the rudest email from that family member who will stay in Italy. She said she would be unable to host me. She gave me the names of three hotels in the area and said if I make it to Tuscany, perhaps we can meet at a restaurant. She added we could pay for our own meals. Really! I’m crossing her off my list!